Hartsyard, Newtown

Hartsyard has been on my agenda for a long long while. I mean seriously it's on the same road as my uni and I manage to go to other places that are half way around the city instead. American 'dude food' isn't my thing and neither is an 'aren't we all hip?' mindset but Hartsyard has, for a long while, filled hipsters with hearty guilt-inducing food happily and a visit was inevitable.

On a Friday night, it's absolutely packed to the brim by 6 with a line waiting outside to boot but I suppose that's like any other restaurant on a Friday night. It's dark and loud, but not in a seedy kind of way with base ball cap moustached chefs running the kitchen. Speaking of seeds, we're recommended to order two 'seeds' and one 'feed' between the pair of us but we manage to order a whole lot more.

Pisco Punch 18

It's a school night for me (literally) but A gets a pisco punch. It's a deliciously boozy thrashing, slightly sweet and tart with lemon juice but it's the concentrated pineapple slice that gets me going.

Oyster Po Boy 17

We start off with their oyster po boys which are impossible to eat cleanly. Tiny english muffins sandwich a deep fried oyster, under some Old Bay mayo and colesaw. The wonderfully soft muffins are the perfect vehicle for the crispy battered oyster and mayo combo which manages to provide cream and crunch in an utterly lip-smacking way.

hot sauce

Their hot sauce is flipping brilliant. It's not so much hot as it's much more sour and you get the background smoky perfume from the ingredients. We're told it's made in house, by the super cheerful and bubbly waitress, from half the ingredients being smoked and blended together with the non-smoked regular ingredients. 

We're also told that they plan to sell it in the coming months but right now, eating in house is the only way to try it. Everything tastes much better with it. Hell we were even tempted to throw a bit on our desserts... kidding of course... or am I? Hey essay, don't you know I'm loco...

Nappa Cabbage 17

The fresh crunchy cabbage would have been a good cushion had it come at the same time as our heavier mains but by itself I find it a little light and boring. I ended up just dousing it in hot sauce. Definitely had better cabbage. It was probably an item for the health conscious or vegetarians.

Lamb Ribs 29

When the sun went down, I forgot I had iso until the next dish. Do I even deserve a DSLR...? Portion sizes here are massive. A normal group, through careful selection, can come in and out of here with a 30 dollar bill per person. The lamb ribs, for example, are giant and despite the fact that they're more fat than meat, what do I really care? They're roasted down so that their skins are black, rugged and slightly crisp and you get then get this wonderfully soft, barbeque sauce-infused tender meat and fat layers punctuated with whole whackings of chilli. 

Poutine 23

We absolutely couldn't leave without some of their decadent poutine. Don't think stringy cheese and gravy and chips (not that there's anything wrong with it of course!), this is the much more refined version. The chips stay crispy despite being doused in a gravy that's actually made entirely of real short rib meat (as opposed to powder gravy... iiickk) and with a kicking of cheesy cheddar sauce and crispy celery chips, this dish is an absolute foodies dream ... and a gym junkie's nightmare. 

Cake of the Day 20

Watch out Zumbo, their dessert chef Andy Bowdy is a crazed genius. Not a square inch on the plate isn't covered with refreshing yuzu ice cream, salted caramel sauce, crunchy popcorn and a flipping cheese cake deep fried in artery clogging blueberry pancake batter. If it weren't for the acidic yuzu jam ice cream, passionfruit curd and piquant bursts of blueberry within the batter cutting through it all, I think I might have just passed out. 

They've got a different cake and soft serve every week as over the top as this week which might occasional feature the likes of deep fried oreos, jack daniels and bacon, chocolate ice cream and french fries or jam donut pies with strawberries, meringue, custard and croissants. Shieeeeetttt.

They've started to do some cake orders in which you can throw in some pretty funky combos and chef Andy will pretty much make whatever it is. They aren't cheap, however, at 190 dollars for a ten serving cake but in the spirit of all things Hartsyard, they appear to be packed to the brim full of ingredients. 

Needless to say, don't go in expecting finicky clean food with delicate dainty elements. Don't go in with a diet. And don't go out without giving some dessert a go. Hartsyard is the epitome of the mindless American indulgence but with a lot of refinement thrown in. Food comes in thick and fast and you'll leave rolling on the pavement outside so definitely not for the faint hearted. Hartsyard has stolen my heart away. And returned it filled with sugar, lamb fat, smoked hot sauce and all the other good stuff. 


View Larger Map

Posted in: chilli sauce, dude food, fried, gravy, Newtown, oyster, Ribs